There has been a war going on in my head ever since the idea of starting a blog landed there. There is no doubt it was placed there by the Lord, but because of that there is also no doubt that Satan is trying to derail it.
And in complete honesty, he has been succeeding. Although I want this to bring glory to the Father alone, I have been focusing more on how I will be successful, how I will reach people and speak to them. I have spent hours upon hours thinking up ideas for this blog myself rather than asking the Lord to speak through me.
While the Lord has been whispering truth, I have been listening more to the lies:
Your blogs must be perfect before you share them.
Your social media must be uniform and aesthetically pleasing.
You can use this to make yourself known.
But praise the Lord for His kind and very much needed slaps in the face every now and then. When I wasn’t listening to his still voice, he spoke through human voices to make it more obvious:
It’s not about the look, it’s about the mission and the message.
Then as I continued to be stubborn, He gave me an annoying feeling of unrest as I continued to lay on my bed trying to think up my own plans until I had had enough.
This is me officially laying down the burden of being in control, and telling Satan that he no longer has a place in this journey. This is me dropping back into the shadows so that my Father’s beauty no longer has to be dimmed.
God, I invite your searching gaze into my heart.Psalms 139:23-24 TPT
Examine me through and through;
find out everything that may be hidden within me.
Put me to the test and sift through all my anxious cares.
24 See if there is any path of pain I’m walking on,
and lead me back to your glorious, everlasting ways—
the path that brings me back to you.
Heavenly Father, that is my prayer. I surrender to you completely. Make me a vessel for your truth and authentic love, and nothing more.
♡ a tethered heart